So this is a story my wife's boyfriend Ivan told me. This is from his perspective
She told me to pull the anal beads out of her ass. Only it wasn't specified that I should pull them out S-L-O-W-L-Y, and I gave the string a tug like I was rip-starting a lawn mower. I'm still trying to block out what happened next. The noise certainly wasnt that of a lawn mower ignition.
thanks for listening to my ted talk