I'm not sure if you have grasped the point of your ban yet.
Luke explained why you're banned on Discord, but one of the main reasons you're banned in general is so that you can just take a break from TotalFreedom as a whole, it seems to me like this server enrages you somehow and you lash it out on other people or yourself instead of talking to someone about it or - the easier solution - taking a deep breath, logging off for a little bit and then come back nice and calm.
I feel as if you should take some sort of anger management....course thing....so that you're ready to appeal when the time comes.
We're not mad at you, Mat. We're trying to help you....Take some time off.