MEGAF4IL - Suspension

I've already had to moderate this post. Let's be respectful...

The last screenshot is my chats from yesterday. There are a few lines that do not belong and it would be better if relevant messages were shown for context. Especially date-stamping.

However, I do deserve this suspension. Let it be a reminder for me to control my temper and have others to go to, to handle problems - or else I'll lose more than just admin.

The ones I've told off in the other screenshots do not deserve an apology from me - if you know, you know.
Paldiu, on the other hand, deserves an apology from me. We have since talked it out.

The TF community that has had to see me flip out, deserves my apology.

I cannot guarantee I'll improve, but I shall remind myself of the high standards of Senior, for the future. I'm sorry for what most of you have seen from me. You do not have to tell me you accept my apology, just take it and leave it.

Time to enjoy being useless for 2 weeks.

I've seen alot of angry comments already, those being deleted by ryan of course so I just want to put here that being "hateful" or angry is not bringing anything to this nor should you be very angry because you aren't one of the people directly affected, besides the fact I dont want to downtalk that this behaviour is very ""professional" for a admin (That's the nicest way I can put it) but Mega has already apologized for it multiple times, so let's just be civil if anybody is going to comment on this.

(Just adding) I hope you can improve on this behaviour, so it wont happen again, I wish you the best

Paldiu informed me of this suspension having taken place just recently. My only thoughts on the matter are sympathy for any bad blood still existing between MEGAF4IL and myself; given that I've been an inactive member of the community for some time now. I never intended to cause strife within this community nor did I aim to make them "miserable" to any degree.

Mega: you should remember that your wellbeing is of paramount importance, and if any dramatic effects of this server have brought about paranoia, employ this suspension in a way that is beneficial to yourself.

Going into the future, I wish you nothing but the best, and hope that enmities can be forgotten.

@fssp#6861 My mental health is a result of circumstances outside of what I do on the internet. The internet is one of many forms of my escape from this hellish world. Thank you.
Your reply is sweet and all, but I don't plan on forgiving you, Moriarty and/or icksp.

I don't believe that you are mentally irresponsible because of how decisively you act.

For example, the way you edited your previous post which was an innocent acceptance of John's response to include this implication that we need your "forgiveness" (in that we were acting wrongly) is such a coward's way of expressing your true feelings without any social repercussions.

You sought out other people and harassed them in a way that was careless. If anything, you owe @fssp#6861 an apology for vocally "hoping he has a stroke" and refusing to backpedal after realizing the gravity of your remarks. This recent suspension only reveals that you're nonchalant about hurting folk.

EDIT: I made some changes to the syntax of this post, as my above post was removed by a sysop. That's understandable, considering it was emotionally packed and could be interpreted as an attack against the OP.

Ignore the way I've acted earlier, I believe I came off as rude which I was generally infuriated at how the user in question has been acting recently. I apologize sincerely, and I will keep my emotions and views of any user, including the one in question, at bay.
As for the suspension in question
I think it goes without saying that telling someone to kill themselves is unacceptable.

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@MEGAF4IL#6863 Your reply is sweet and all, but I don't plan on forgiving you, Moriarty and/or icksp.

The choice of forgiving someone you hate is completely up to you, we can't and won't influence who you decide to forgive and who to hate on your future endevours, but you gotta learn that sometimes in life, you gotta work with people that you don't and probably never will like.

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@MEGAF4IL#6863 The internet is one of many forms of my escape from this hellish world. Thank you.

This doesn't mean that you treat your peers like a toilet to get rid of your bodily waste for you.

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@MEGAF4IL#6856 Time to enjoy being useless for 2 weeks.

This is kind of what ticked me off the most. If all of our operators were useless, TotalFreedom wouldn't be what it is today. We would have had no playerbase. People would have hated our server to the paramount degree. Since you have been suspended, it would be in yours and our best interest to better your actions, apologize to the people you've hurt, and never, ever, even in your wildest imaginations/dreams, tell or verbally wish for someone to have or do something that will harm them.

Just fighting your suspension will make matters worse for you, people will see you as an irresponsible admin that handles punishments like a toddler if you battle your suspension every minute you stay on the server.
However, if you just take the suspension as it comes, reflect on your actions, better yourself, and make others think better about you, we will view you better as an administrator when the two week timeframe is up.

@moriarty#7164
The situation from the screenshots referring to when I said fssp has had too few strokes, has already been dealt with. Fssp said he forgave me, "by principle". I apologized to fssp after he said he had another stroke ("I'm sorry to hear that"). You could look for it in the discord but it's probably from before Seth deleted TF.

I choose not to forgive fssp for what warranted his own suspension. I choose not to forgive icksp for collaborating with you and fssp, and acting out towards Wild in the discord when fssp got suspended. I choose not to forgive you, Moriarty, for association and collaboration - same for Paldiu, since he's such a dear friend of you 3.
I'm still expecting temporarily perfect behavior from fssp and icksp for the sake of reinstatement. But I digress.

I edited in that I do not forgive the three of you, because I wanted to make it clear that we're still not on good terms, says me. We never will be, since the quest for superiority never ends.
I'd also rather not have someone pretend to care about me.
As Codex says, that sometimes I'll have to work with people I won't like; I'm just gonna have to tolerate, bite my tongue off, and let it out with a workout, when we have another problem.

Thank you for calling me a coward, by the way. As if me being an escapist/survivor wasn't "cowardly" enough.

@CodexTheDuplex#7261
I meant useless as in I can't do any admin duties, so even if I wanted to, I can't help with a grief or whatever problem there may be, like trying to start the server from Discord.

Just because I didn't acknowledge the rest of what you said, does not mean I don't get what you mean. Does this reply count as fighting my suspension? It shouldn't, and even though I may have taken the bait, I'm not going to leave context unclear - unlike most evidence; especially on TF.

@MEGAF4IL#7270 Saying that "it has already been dealt with" does not excuse the fact that you're still treating those same people as trash despite having made such callous remarks to their faces. It's not a valid excuse.

John's "suspension" was bullshit, and you do realize that we are friends in real life, right? Like, we actually interact in person. Accusing us of "collaborating with each other" is silly considering we've literally worked together, and I don't understand what you believe we are conspiring to do. Needless to say, when we talk, none of our discussions pertain to you.

I barely even know Paul nor do I ever talk to him, which goes to show that you're fucking paranoid. Everybody that dislikes you is not a member of some buried syndicate with a hidden agenda; you're just not a very nice person.

I called you a coward not because you were an "escapist slash survivor" which only demonstrates that you have a victim complex, Mega. None of this has anything to do with you being an "escapist" or a "survivor." It's that you're a bully, and that you play the victim whenever anyone has the gall to call you out for it. You're doing it right now.