Minecraft adds a 'Player Chat Reporting' feature in Snapshot 22w24a

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    ↩ @'Freenom' "gui.banned.description.unknownreason": "We recently received a report for bad behavior by your account. Our moderators have now reviewed your case and identified that it goes against the Minecraft Community Standards."

    Now, Microsoft doesn't actually need a reason to ban you. It could be anything that could warrant a ban! Absolutely peak microsoft moments right there.

    javaw_VqNRNZdU6Q.png
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    Check this lovely thing out: https://help.minecraft.net/hc/en-us/reque…id=360003469452

    Enjoy the multitude of ways you can be banned from Minecraft because Microsoft decided they want to control what you can or cannot do in privately managed 3rd-party servers, including TF! It may or may not be related to the reporting feature but it's just as noteworthy. Some entries such as Child Exploitation or Terrorism make sense, but not some of the highlights I've listed below.

    You can be banned for bullshit such as:

    • Harassment or bullying - I can get banned for that because I told a certain server raider to go fuck themselves.
    • Nudity or pornography - I can get banned because I have a player skin that features a 5x2 pixel penis.
    • Drugs or alcohol - Bruh so if I talk about an awesome alcoholic drink I had at a party, I can be banned?
    • Quitting Early - So if my game crashes in a pvp match, now I am getting my mc account banned for "quitting early"? Sweet!
    • Unsporting behavior - Me calling some loser a dickbag because they scaffolded in bedwars and killed me is 'unsporting behaviour' and warrants a ban? Makes sense. /s
    • Player Username - Aight so my alt, GooeyMeatRod is automatically illegal because of its username. Lovely.
    • Cheating - I choose to cheat on a server because it's fun ruining some retard's streak who spends $200 dollars on a rank in a cracked server while not owning a premium account.
    • Profanity - Holy fucking shit. I can be banned for that? Absolutely fucking dogshit.

    javaw_VqNRNZdU6Q.png
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    ↩  Alco_Rs11
    Harrasment or bullying - "bohoo kryptskiddie called me a loser, im gonna report him!!1"
    Nudity or pornography - "One mini-poxel of penis? BANNED!"
    Drugs or alcohol - "cough cough russian unlicensed minecraft server cough cough"
    Unsporting behaviour - "???"
    Player Username - "i can get banned for containg SEX in hyperSEXual? cool!"
    Cheating - "2b2t is shaking right now, because some nooby player is mad at coolelytrahax1099"
    Profanity - "#### this #### ######## ####### ####"

    Thanks, Mojang! Really made Minecraft a better place! Also be like Steve!

    Is this the end?


    Here's a first-hand look at the reporting experience. I was with @"videogamesm12"#4 on a test server having a feel for the bullshit. I activated the reporting prompts by pressing P on my keyboard. Have a look.

    Do note, we did NOT do this on a Realm. This was done on an actual server that I connected to via Hamachi.

    This is what you are currently greeted with.

    Clicking 'proceed' takes me here.

    I am now here after I click the report button.

    I select a thing to report video with.

    Then I pick the messages to report. Take note of "Messages surrounding this selection will be included to provide additional context."

    Back at the main report menu screen, I can give some context.

    Once a description and category are selected, I click 'Send report.'

    I get this screen. Since reporting is still not active, my 'dummy' report won't do anything.

    If you choose to exit the report, you are shown this screen informing you that your report will be discarded.
    https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/41…564/unknown.png

    Side note:


    We are actively collecting feedback

    Bullshit.

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    Haha as a WoW player who knows just how much chat reports can and will get abused (especially if microsoft uses a similar "fuck you" automated punishment when there's mass reporting), it's going to be so fun seeing how much of a shitfest this will be if it really does unleash on any server, especially considering how many more kids play this..

    i wonder if it would be explicitly illegal to ban someone from a server for making a report for profanity. because if someone tried to get a player banned from all multiplayer because they said fuck id be in favor of them filing an ibr honestly

    edit: microsoft better come out with options for servers to make them “profanity legal servers” so that profanity reports dont apply, if not then fuck microsoft

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    Here's me violating each part of the retarded "Community Standards" that Microsoft unironically thinks you need to follow.

    Quote

    Treat other community members with respect. This is core to everything we believe in. When you express your opinions, please do so politely and respectfully.

    Fuck off

    Quote

    If there’s a chat function available in a game or on a website, be mindful of other people’s experience. This includes avoiding excessive posting or spamming. Also, all-caps is often read as YELLING! And yelling at someone is usually not very nice.

    YOU HAVE A BLOCK FEATURE FOR A REASON YOU FUCKWIT

    Quote

    If you have an argument or unpleasant encounter with another player, our lovely moderation team are available to advise and assist. Please contact them and/or report the player using the tools available within the game. Whatever the situation, don’t “name and shame” other members of the community publicly as this counts as harassment.

    Actually violated this one a year ago.

    Quote

    Think twice about the information that you share publicly. Do not post personal information (phone numbers, email addresses, passwords, account information, physical addresses, first and last names, etc) about yourself or others.

    My IP address is 127.0.0.1 and my Minecraft username is videogamesm12.

    Quote

    You are not allowed to promote any manner of illegal activity.

    You guys should do this:

    https://media.videogamesm12.me/gWTt8vW6ifz0zorh.mp4

    Quote

    Create content and conversation that is positive and encouraging, rather than negative and disparaging. It should go without saying, but don’t ever create posts or content with the purpose of starting a fight or to elicit a negative response.

    https://media.videogamesm12.me/uxOspL88XsgZaXzc.mp4

    Quote

    Minecraft has a zero-tolerance policy towards hate speech, bullying, harassing, sexual solicitation, or threatening others.

    @"RedEastWood"#47 I'm gonna steal your lunch money

    Quote

    Do not share your account information with anyone. We will never ask for your password, and you shouldn’t give it.

    My password is password1234.

    Quote

    Modding in Minecraft is only acceptable in the base Minecraft game under the existing EULA.

    Fun fact: As an experiment a while ago I actually wrote something in W95 that would let you toggle the demo mode, which basically means you get the singleplayer experience for free if you don't own a license of the game. I scrapped it shortly afterwards but it was still interesting to see in action.

    https://videogamesm12.me/T6GtJ0u6RbqA.png

    I get that this is a huge strawman argument, but holy shit some of these rules are stupid.

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    you wanna know what's the funniest part about this? the fact that doing things that actively harms the server (like ddos and using crash chests) aren't valid report reasons, meaning most likely microsoft will do jack shit about them

    ffs