demoralization

    hey.

    so yesterdays event it really didn't go the way i hoped it would've. fuck i dont even know how to start writing this shit other than "i told you so" that it'd be an utter shitshow. but you know i dont feel like im being fucking listened to the majority of the time and its driving me fucking mental.

    you all wonder why there was a lack of activity in the ECM and bitch about it for ages and then when i go put in the effort to go bigger with this its thrown right in my fucking face. and those who bitch about it aint even fuckin taking note that i've actually fucking tried here. myself and the mb's and a few others that put hours into making this map and the original idea me and matscalle pitched as he kept suggesting things akin to miniSMP and i knew i had to do something about the suggestion so we decided to go all in on one event. always wanted an underground like concept for miniSMP and thought it'd be a neat twist. you all literally had two weeks to tell me it wasn't a good fucking idea, i put out a fuckin trailer to showcase some of the map and now it comes round i hear shit about it being quite fuckin mixed.

    another thing i would like to point out is the whole "This event is ruined for me" type shit. i hate seeing that. i cannot tell you how bad of a feeling it is to see peoples experience get ruined and leave something you put a lot into. yeah those people who did that are banned now and wont be coming back.

    matscalles performance, a lot of people was not happy with and i certainly fucking wasn't. some of the shit he was saying after i flipped the map over to a void world because i was pissed fuckin got to me and went against me for awhile which left a sour taste in my mouth. this impulsive decision especially https://forum.totalfreedom.me/d/3705-event-poll which is why i denied his app. if this event continues, he wont be an official part of it

    i guess what im trying to say is, i dont know if i want to keep going with this event. im so fucking demoralized to continue by peoples attitudes but also feel forced to or its back to bitching about the lack of anything else wondering why. ill have a think about it over the next few hours. i just want people to understand my perspective on yesterday because i feel like im talking to a brick fuckin wall a lot of the time and its driving me mental

    assrix, assryx, asterisk, *

    awesomeist tf blokey

    Although it may not seem like it, a lot of us really do appreciate your work, and the effort you put into this event. It’s sad that some don’t see it but I want you to know we do appreciate you and your efforts.

    For transparency, I have offered Lyicx my help for today’s plans, in which I can host an event if the MiniSMP does not continue.

    Look mate you put a lot of fucking effort into this and it made me genuinely happy and excited for this going forward. It didn't turn out as expected but I want you to keep your head held high. It's not your fault the event was ruined by the immature individuals who played it and bitched about something they already knew was happening. You did all you could, and I'm proud of you.

    Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.

    Quote

    ↩  lyicx matscalles performance, a lot of people was not happy with and i certainly fucking wasn’t. some of the shit he was saying after i flipped the map over to a void world because i was pissed fuckin got to me and went against me for awhile which left a sour taste in my mouth. this impulsive decision especially https://forum.totalfreedom.me/d/3705-event-poll which is why i denied his app. if this event continues, he wont be an official part of it

    What i did was a being annoyed and so i went and grabbed items and flang my self of the edge YEET

    Before everything went to shit lyicx did tell me if it went wrong he would resign and i stoped being shity when i saw the void world was the only chance to bring back mini smp ao i tried to do the best i could after my stress was gone


    codium multimatter redanium sporres

    I resigned from event host because frankly I didn't have the motivation or the time to even put up with making events. What I do learn about this community is that if they can break something or make fun of it, they will. I only ever hosted one event and it was a shit show.

    But I will say, your motivation for creating events is great, and its what we need in ECM. After 9 years of being admin on TF I have learned that people are very much to their ways on this server. Especially if its not what they want, which results in exactly this. I don't blame you, as an ECM for what went on yesterday, and I think of it as someone who has thrown their toys out the pram.

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    ↩  lyicx

    I'd say there is one main issue with the miniSMP now, which is the fact that you've been overplanning these things to death. The first miniSMP was great because it wasn't planned and wasn't stressful; it was a lighthearted event and I think that's how it was always supposed to be.

    The main problem with the newest event was the grave mistake of you putting effort into it (no offense). I respect your work and dedication but sometimes the most fun things are the ones that aren't planned or overthought about.

    The entire idea, planning and actual hosting of this event was amazing. You did really, really fucking well lyicx, kudos to you. The map, the aspects of the gameplay itself, fucking amazing.

    You have put a lot of hard work and dedication into this event, and some people need to learn to appreciate people actually putting effort into things.

    Again, you did really well, but unfortunately I do have to say that matscalle himself was not the best of hosts. If you are reading this, matscalle, please, If total freedom is the only thing that can keep you sane, please take a break for your wellbeing.

    Let's see if people will still dare to be jerks just because if we start blacklisting disruptive players for future events. We've already done it with one btw.

    TotalFreedom's Executive Community & Marketing Manager

    Hey! Your plastic builder man here. Just a couple cents of my own retrospective.

    I would say that I was the one responsible for at least 1/3rd of the behind-the-scenes legwork (if not more) including builds, item design, spawn, progression curve in-game, and a bit. It should still be noted that Lyicx and matscalle were the ones behind the idea and the biggest motivator of the project, but in terms of the idea's realization, I believe that I have played my fair role.

    The event, as obvious, wasn't as well-received as one may expect. I see quite a bunch of people commenting on how the map was actually unique and fun to play with - many of them familiar faces and mature long-standing players - but I simply could not help but notice that a handful of people also found the map too challenging, the environment design was monochromatic, and mainly that it just feels unfair to play with others for the balancing issues with items included in our custom structures.

    The easy way out would be to find out who contributed the part where the balancing issues were at and pull the person out and give them a big spanky wanky. The thing is that the event's all over with now and there's really not much use out of doing that. Not much use to blame and argue about that specific part, anyway.

    That said, as I would call myself the big contributor, I am willing to take the blame that the map was not thoroughly tested and proper communication on the map's design was not made clear during the process. Personally, I have since learned a lot from this event regarding various aspects of the gamemode design, whether it was considered good or bad by whomever. There are many regrets walking away from this, but I don't think we can learn just from yelling about should've could've would've-s.

    To all the people who expected more, I am sorry to have let you down.

    C'est la vie