Rollback 365 days. If you had asked me where I thought I would be in September 2021, I would tell you I expected to be dead. I would tell you that my life was hell, and that I wanted out. I had never been lower, having lost everything I had ever found an interest in.
But then I joined the TF discord. And now I am here, alive and well (latter debatable), with the best friends I could ever have hoped for. I said it the other night - it had taken me 19 years to have finally found home.
And now we're here.
That being said, my love for this server and the time I've spent here is unwavering. Unfaltering. I'm thankful for this place having saved my life. Being an admin here has been an experience I've wholeheartedly enjoyed over the past few months. And being here in general has just been fantastic. I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
Anyway, going to extend some thanks to a few people. Apologies for those I may be missing, I'm very emotional ATM.
@"Ryan"#1
Well, you're the owner. You've been the only owner I've ever had real experience with and I can have nothing but respect for you. I am disappointed and gutted that the server is being shut down, but I completely understand why it was done.
But more onto other things - I've enjoyed working with you, and really liked the way you've had my backs, and the backs of other admins and members of the community. You coped with our bullshit for far too long and deserved so much fucking more than what you got. We didn't deserve you.
@"lyicx"#21
You reced me, so this is mandatory. However, you've been a really great friend to me ever since I joined. You've been there for me like nobody has been there for me in years. DMing me when you think I might be down and generally just the fact you fucking care about me is heartwarming. You've also worked really hard for this server, and again, we didn't deserve you. That being said, you don't know the name of Derry.
@"videogamesm12"#4
I would consider you my mentor. From the outset I've looked up to you and had immense respect for everything you've done here; from your work in archiving and developing, to the way you are so open with teaching and educating people, to the very fact you've served this community for so long in so many different ways. I enjoyed seeing the things you had said about me in these past few weeks. You've been a great friend, and a great senior admin.
@"shdwo"#94
We aren't that close anymore, having rarely talked since your indefinite ban, but as I once considered you my best friend you deserve an inclusion. In the few months we knew each other, you were great. You helped me through three mental breakdowns (including the one which was by proxy half your fault... /adminmode), and in all honesty without you being there for me that night I may have resigned after mere hours of being admin.
@"RedEastWood"#47
I have a lot of respect for you. Like and dislike has yoyoed a bit, but mostly because you're not afraid to say whats on your mind. You've been quick to praise me, but also quick to tell me I'm being a fucking idiot. You're quick to tell me I'm wrong, but quick to admit you're wrong when either of those are the case. I was honoured by the way you genuinely wanted me to be your assistant, although I'm regretful I couldn't have done more to assist you and the server. You're going to go very, very far in life.
@"Ashaz"#12
March 11. Mid afternoon. Around this time I was a mere discord lurker, who occasionally popped into chat. I didn't realise anyone knew me, but while I was doing stuff on my computer I got a ping from you in server chat. You just wanted to say hi, and I remember being rather rude, but I also realised that someone actually knew and gave a fuck about me. That was the turning point that made me play here a lot more often. So I'm thankful for that. We haven't always got on but I've always respected your drive and ambition to do what you can for this place.
@"ClayCoconut"#130
One of my closest friends. On a darker note, it hurt to see you not doing well, but I've really enjoyed seeing how you've progressed and what you've done as assistant executive. You were also responsible, along with @"Fleek"#188, for bringing me to tears for the first time on this server by saying some of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. 24th May, that was. I still cherish that moment.
@"Luke"#19
I'd rather you not cancel me for not being mentioned, but at the same time you've been nice to talk to - I've appreciated your rationality and lack of fucks given. You taught me some important things during your brief stint as senior when I was around.
@"Tizz"#240
We're both relatively new here in the grand scheme of things, and we get along well. You're the voice of reason in most situations and you administrate like you've been here forever. If this wasn't closing down, you'd have senior admin in your sights.
@"Anzu"#78
We relate in a lot of ways and whether that's a good or bad thing I'm still yet to discover. But I see the good side of it, and you're really nice to talk to. It's been nice seeing your mental health improve over these past weeks, and here's to more improvement.
I think that's it, although I would like to say I am extremely emotional right now so there may be individuals I have accidentally forgotten. If you are not mentioned, it doesn't mean I hate you, as I have met many fantastic people who I admire in my time here and a thread containing them all would be longer than the complete works of Shakespeare.
I thank every member of the community for the way you have treated me in my time here. I have never felt more enjoyment and love for a place than I have this one.
This threads taken me an hour on and off, but I'm just going to day that this is not a resignation or leaving thread in any way. I will continue to serve this server as an admin in the way I've done right up until the end, and I would like to remain in the community in any way I can.
The endless river, forever and ever.
Thank you all for everything.
