dont worry, this isn't a resignation post. that would be quite anti-climactic after this lmao
i dont usually tend to be this outward with my actual feelings when it comes to TF, or any like actual communities as they tend to be just rather self deprecating and depressing in nature. im not an emotional leech and i dont want to be like that. i've really only ever opened up like that to people here i actually deem close enough behind closed doors rather then forum threads or the general chat on discord or where ever. if this was years ago and i got serious about TF that would entirely be different and i would not be at the point i am at right now. i think i've learned a lot from my past and putting what i've learned in practice i think has benefited me alot here.
i guess i just really felt the need to say thank you. to those still here and especially to those that have dated back to when i first returned to TF. before this i was in a critically dark place, the loss of friends, my partner leaving and everything just kinda fell on top of itself. i previously changed my alias from something you could easily find to lyicx in an attempt to move away from some of the type of shit i was facing. obviously they eventually found contact with me again and its more of a lowkey co existence i dont really touch anymore. i wasn't this huge household name there like i am here.
so i felt like i had no one to go to realistically, my friendships were deteriorating until @"Rex2LostOldAccount"#336 came back to TF and i sort of came along with him. should give a bit of backstory that me and Rex (BanterousSor or Sor2003) go way back to when i was DiamondSackboy. was the first and the longest online friend i've ever actually had and i met him on this very server. too bad that he bums boats for a living being a sailor instructor and all and upon all other things but he's a great guy despite the insults i doubt he really means. i started getting involved more once i joined a call with @"bowie"#20 and @"Nathaniel428"#120 and got mad that no one was speaking. then obviously they both started speaking. i wish it was that simple to get people talking in voice here lmao.
i joined this call facing a turndown of a crush i had grow back again (common trend and it pisses me off idek why) and decided to build a "sadlake" which is now lost to time unfortunately but a recreation can be found on my plot. also this was before Nathaniel was an absolute cunt so theres that.
things kinda grew from there. seniors at the time we're reccing me left and right, i made a fictional corp that i dont know how it'll return, we had a sick house, i laughed as a stair sitting party was torn apart by a lack of attendance, i became an assistant, got removed and added back, said a few words, achieved forum mod, executive, discord mod and now senior. its fucking crazy how i was allowed this instant path to the top and i find myself very lucky and grateful for this. i know i boast on about it more then i should but it actually makes me feel somewhat better that people here actually give more of a fuck about me then in most places, and for that im thankful
quick update on that apology regarding the esotalk thing. i've cut down on it like i've said and kept true to what i said. i admit i was still rash at the time making that apology and trying to understand this was more of me giving TF a bad look then actually me saying said word (you can imagine i was probably quite frantic at that time given it was the first time and only iirc in here that i've been in real deep shit). i know its pretty much a meme now a dying one if that but i do feel more guilty about it after the fact. december was a horrible month for me on here for myself hence why i hate winter. its whatever now but whilst im here i thought i might mention that
overall, im pretty thankful for what TF has done to me. actually knowing theres a place where everybody (i think) gives a shit about me has probably helped me through this past year and a bit now. i've got clips of old TF moments i would like to edit up and share someday which i was looking through the other day and made me genuinely happy. and i guess i really just want to sit down and talk about what TF has actually done for me.
i think i should give some honourable mentions
@"videogamesm12"#4
vro i personally knew from the start we'd cross fuckin paths eventually with somewhat aligned interests and its still been fun talking to you from the start of you forcekilling me to some good timing on my livestream to the special alliance with kanst and other caleb. its been great just dont ever archive my nudes if some crazy bitch leaks them as a huge revenge plot (she'd have to get them first and all the real homies know i dont send cus uhhh, i have integrity?)
@"elmon"#17, @"fionn"#3 & co
E&F corp fucking sucks. literally meme corp im so glad fionn is banned from TF forums so he cant tell me you's are not. but you've both been great to me and i'd even include @"square"#82 and @"super"#57 here too during mid 2020 with weedhouse and shit. was a fun time, shame we'll never get a proper way to bring it back to life
@"bowie"#20
its sad to see we grown a part a bit with you moving on from TF for the most part but im still thankful you stuck around whilst we completely outswazzed nathaniel with @"elmon"#17 n shit and we stuck close for a long ass time. you've been great overall.
Bunny GC - @"Lykhant"#9, @"rylie"#15, @"Cacteu"#35, @"Feueristic"#27, @"sergio24m"#33, etc
i think you guys were the main geezers in the voice chats back in the day and made the lyicxcorp more mainstream and made my time on TF more enjoyable. @"Lykhant"#9 i still have that drawing you drew for me on my 18th and i genuinely think its one of the best gift anyone has given to me to that date. a shame what happened to the lyicx land @"bowie"#20 arranged got lost to time due to nuclear warfare and i think you guys had a part in all that. rylie please STOP SCREAMING YOU ARE FUCKING MY TINY EARS and feueristic i would love to find your house and randomise it. we could call it home decorating \:) overall you guys we're ace and its a shame we've grown a bit distant i feel
Lykhant drawings
@"Darth"#14
ok yeah another banned guy from the forums why am i so closed to banned ex executives. he's also in bunny gc along with bowie but deserves their special section. nevertheless despite somethings i still hold a bit of a grudge against mainly regarding this shit i wouldn't be half the way where im at without you. you've been awesome and have entertained me (when you aint forcing my feelings out or telling her my name and making me think i did it on an already dogshit month) and have helped me out on several occasions. im sorry i had to mention that as this is meant to be an appreciation post and i do dont get me wrong lmao its just one i still hold a bit of a grudge thats all.
@"simplynick"#11
i dont get why you bum off linux so much or have a seperate hard drive for every OS for your laptop rather then just partition your hard drive like a normal person but despite that you've always been real and have stuck by me during ESL days and still to this day assisting with event host bollocks on the actual server i am somewhat learning to use more
@"JagWire"#18
Another real one and a true brit in the sense that you probably drink a lot of tea and make lots of british jokes i fucking love that. van hoe still has a 318 day streak strong but please for the love of god come in game so i can give you the punishment you rightfully deserve \;)
@"scripthead"#151
i aint a clue if you'll ever read this and i think i've told you that i understood your reasoning to turn totalfreedom into a fallout game. nevertheless i wasn't around to see all this smartnt bollocks people bang on about sometimes but you were great from what i saw at the time and frequently engaged with people such as myself. i dont know if i'd still be here if it was for you.
@"Ryan"#1
...that being said you aint a straight up rip out of an inbetweeners character like this dude is (AND I REST MY FUCKING CASE ON THAT, TF IN MY SERVER LIST IS LITERALLY CALLED "WILL MCKENZIES ULTRA FUN"). i dont feel we talk often enough but theres a fair amount of banter in the vc (fuckin i cant believe you banned me from everything that one time and sent me fake fucking support emails) do i think you're doing a good job? realistically you are doing what you can alongside other life obligations (which seem fuckin massive from my perspective) but either way without you we wouldn't really have an owner at this rate so, good job. just please tell dev guy paldu to call this 1.17 update "TF Remastered" because i feel like it. thats all
@"Shyrix"#338
i wanted to save one of if not the best till last, you've been an amazing assistant from the time i appointed you even though shits not really went the way i exactly intended. i've had more fun getting to know you and then being shit fuckin scared of you in a good way (BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BIGGEST BULLY I'VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE \;(((). i personally feel (atleast outside of TF) you are quite underrated and have been through quite a bit and it does sort of upset me those of the cards life sort of dealt you. you're fucking awesome vro (despite xeon ripping off MY FUCKING SHIRT)
i've done enough paragraph writing today. shoutout to my recs @"Charge"#437, @"kanst"#117 & @"erin"#107. i hope you all eventually achieve senior as i've seen some decent shit out of you all. not to pick favorites (and im not, kanst and charge are extremely sound and charge we need to play C&C again) but especially the green cashier one that i doomed as she seems really dedicated to this position and hope i see her name in orange or fuck it, red real soon soon
also shoutout to the funny men who shitpost on the forums and everyone fucking hates them for it. my sense of humor and the bar is set so low that @"Flobbier"#408 posting p on the forums would make me go into hysteria and eventually i'd have to ban and then ill feel guilty about it (please take this out of TF forums, go make tfbuddyretard please, i feel thats a much better place then here lol)
theres probably more people i could insert here but quite frankly, i've done a lot of typing and im running out of things to say, im thankful beyond words. this server helped me come out of a dark place and im grateful to all those that take the piss out of me, draw me (@"ClayCoconut"#130, @"Lykhant"#9) because i actually love fan art even if its fucked up or cursed or w/e, buy me nitro??? (@"Charge"#437, @"fionn"#3 & @"_TheRedX"#431) yeah thats a thing people do here lol or anything surrounding what i've done even attending or liking shit i do like minismp im grateful for.
that is all, one love 🙏
- not related to fnaf purple guy
