• Chalmers: Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions.


    Principal Skinner: Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.


    Chalmers: Yeah.


    Principal Skinner: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour.


    Singers: Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!


    Chalmers: Seymour!


    Principal Skinner: Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?


    Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?


    Principal Skinner: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.


    Principal Skinner: Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.


    Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.


    Principal Skinner: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.


    Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?


    Principal Skinner: Yes. It's a regional dialect.


    Chalmers: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?


    Principal Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.


    Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."


    Principal Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.


    Chalmers: I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.


    Principal Skinner: Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.


    Chalmers: For steamed hams.


    Principal Skinner: Yes.


    Chalmers: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.


    Principal Skinner: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.


    Chalmers: Of course.


    Principal Skinner: Oh well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.


    Chalmers: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?


    Principal Skinner: Aurora borealis.


    Chalmers: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen?


    Principal Skinner: Yes.


    Chalmers: May I see it?


    Principal Skinner: No.


    Skinner's Mother: Seymour! The house is on fire!


    Principal Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the northern lights.


    Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.


    Skinner's Mother: Help! Help!

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